A father’s love

As a boy, I shared a game with my father, played it until I was 9, he would knock on my door, and I’d pretend to be asleep until he got right next to my bed. Then I would jump right up into my papa’s arms and my papa would tell me he loved me.

His heart was my heart’s quiet home, on his knee I leant love-lore that is not troublesome. We shared a game…  Until when the knock never came.
And so 12 years later I write these words for the little boy in me who still awaits his papa’s knock.

Wishing I could shout papa come home ‘cause there are things I don’t know and I thought maybe you could teach me; how to shave; how to dribble a ball; how to talk to a lady; how to walk like a man…papa come home because I decided a while ago that I want to be just like you…but I’m forgetting who you are.

And 12 years later a little boy cries, trying to father himself, and dream up a father who says the words my father did not get to say. 

“Dear son

I’m sorry I never came home

For every lesson I failed to teach, hear these words: shave in one direction in strong deliberate strokes to avoid irritation.

Dribble the page with brilliance of your ballpoint pen. Walk like a god and your goddess will come to you.no longer will I be there to knock on your door so you must learn to knock for yourself. The best of me still lives in you”

A void in my heart is all there is…clinging so hard on to hope that I , one day, stand tall and say i rose above that.

my pursuit of happiness, a fathers love.

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Affection

As the sun is sinking over the mountains and the dry dusty ground, I sit here drowning in thoughts. 

Affection, a word that melts almost everyone’s heart. It was said that affection is responsible for the three quarters of joy that there is in our lives, the only force that can change anyone.
 funny are the things we do for love , But when we have finally found it, we seem not to know what to do with it. We take it fogranted ,trapped under the conviction that the circumstance constraints will always be the same , hence we fall victim to heartaches which we could have avoided. it’s as if we forget why we  needed it in the first place.

Coffee never knew it would taste nice and sweet before it met sugar and milk. Similarly, We are good as individuals but become better when we blend with the right people. but then…sometimes the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so you can become what you were meant to be in the first place

When we find people who treat us  affectionately , let’s cage them up in our hearts, the world is full of nice people, if you can’t find one, be one.

Happiness

 What does it really mean to be happy?  Popularity? Wealth? Having many friends?  Standing in the hall of fame? All those don’t guarantee happiness. 

Life itself is a bundle of little  strings, no matter how tight you tie them, They always become untied.  
A group of people you believe are what happiness is about  tend to hurt you the most, it may not be by intention but attachments will always bring so much rigor that you even question your value

However,  the greatest feeling will always be to have people in your life who will always make you feel loved and appreciated.  I strongly believe that everyone was born with an enormous need for affection  and a Terrible need to give it.  After all,  who wouldn’t want to love and be loved in return. 

 
There are people who will  come into your life and change your whole perspective towards life,  but the sad thing is that your attachment to this particular person will always bring so many expectations,  and once those aren’t met,  disappointments.  You then start questioning if they value you as much as you value them.  The human race,  that’s just how we are

The saddest thing is that we’re not all blessed with the opportunity to  have people coming into our lives.  Some of us are so dying to have someone in our lives who’s going to make us feel safe from all the things that hurt us inside, That someone whom we can find comfort from, someone to love us for who we are,  or rather,  in spite of who we are.  But we don’t always  get that presented to us on a silver plate.  We try to adopt that connection with people,  but it’s so sad that the feeling is not always mutual.  What you feel may not necessarily be what they feel.

 
How do you find happiness when your heart is more fragile than your smartphone’s screen.  Heartache and pain is all you ever know.    They say your happiness shouldn’t depend on anyone,  but what does that even mean if people are the ones taking away your happiness.  Not that you literally let them,But some people are so close to our hearts that any fault will get you all gloomy for years.  

love and lust

​It is not that people do not know the difference between love and lust,  but the society has conditioned us to view it as immoral to say “I lust for you”  even when we know that might be the only truth.  Life is so easy,  but we keep insisting on making it difficult.  

My point is,  why do we have to lie to obtain the qualities that we seek,  shouldn’t  we say things as they are?  

Love is a strong feeling of fondness  that you have for someone whereas lust is only a sexual desire.  We shouldn’t get the two mixed.  

I personally have a strong belief that what we see depends mainly on what we look  for,  so basically we should know what we’re after,  know our own worth to know our contentment.   It was said that it takes wisdom to understand wisdom,  otherwise,  the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.  

Anyhow,  one should go for whatever floats their boat.  

Written by Humphrey Malatsi